Dealing with Disappointment

We were supposed to be away for the weekend on a mini family vacation. However, the universe had other plans.

I ended up starting to feel sick on the Thursday night, but had hope I'd feel better by Saturday when we were leaving. I stayed home, tried to rest (as best a mom can), and made sure to do everything I could to feel better. Friday night I was not great, but OK, and had every intention to pull through for my family.

That night my son woke up and puked everywhere. Not only were we not sleeping, but now running a lot of laundry. We hoped it was a one time thing, but he continued throughout the night and into morning. We decided we weren't making it on Saturday, but thought we could push it back by a day. We would leave now on the Sunday and come back Monday (playing hooky from school and work). He seemed to be getting better, and again we had hope. But that familiar cry woke us up again. The poor kid was sick all night, and we were on day two of little sleep.

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We knew at this point the trip was not salvageable. What followed was the feelings defeat, exhaustion, anger, stir crazy (especially me as I hadn't left the house in days), and a big dose of disappointment. 

This is one of the toughest emotions to deal with, and our house was heavy with it this weekend. ​There are things you can do when it hits, that can help ease it, and lessen it's hold over you. 

• First, feel it.

Really let yourself sit in it for a bit (as long as you aren't harming others around you). By trying to jump to positivity right away, you don't allow yourself to have a moment of acknowledging that this just really sucks. Plain and simple. Once you really let yourself have a moment you need to move through it and not get stuck. Here are a few options as next steps. And I know this part is really tough, but super important. 

• Find an alternative activity

This didn't work in our case since we had to stay home. But you could find something else exciting to go and do. Sometimes the spontaneous plans turn out to be the best. I remember one time our original plans fell through and disappointment was heavy. My husband suggested to go to Toronto Island, everyone moped about it, had excuses like it's too late in the day to go now. But he said enough, we are going! So we went, we arrived midafternoon and stayed until close, getting home way past bedtime, everyone filled with joy. 

• Go outside

Since we could not go anywhere this weekend, and I was starting to feel very house bound, I just went outside and let the sun hit my face. It's amazing what a little vitamin D can do. I brought out a coffee and a magazine and just enjoyed a bit of outside time. If you were up for it you could go for a walk, bike ride, anything that gets you out. 

• Do a project

Is there something that's been sitting on your to do list forever? Maybe now is the time to start it. Being productive can help keep the mind off the disappointment, and accomplishing a task can give you a boost. For me, I did some brainstorming for my program, I created a mood board, and wrote this blog post. 

• Forced Relaxation

Some people enjoy relaxing, but I am someone who feels like I'm wasting time if I'm not being productive. However, if you view it as part of the process, it can be helpful. A great excuse to read or write, listen to music etc. You have been given the gift of time. 

• Family Time Together

Get some board games and snacks out, watch a movie together, paint. Spending time with others can really boost everyone's mood. 

Whatever you choice to do, the idea is to get yourself engaged in something else. You can't change the thing that caused the disappointment no matter how much you dwell on it, but you can change your mindset.