Paralysis

Being stuck sucks.

Its full of feelings of guilt and shame for not being able to get started. And the longer it goes before acting the worse the anxiety around it. I know, I’ve been stuck for a while now. To the point I didn’t even want to open my website to even look at it. Because looking at it would somehow make the feelings of failing more real.

But I wasn’t failing, I was just stuck in paralysis.

It’s a vicious cycle of wanting to get started, but not being able to. Your mind puts up blocks at every turn. A chaotic mind will make it worse, by saying you have no idea how to start.

Anxiety whispers in your ear:

“there’s no point in trying now, it’s been too long”

“maybe I’m not good enough for this anyway”

“if I start again, I will be judged for how long it’s been”

“I might as well not even try, maybe this is for the best”

They all start to sound truer as time goes on.  Especially if you are neurodivergent, it’s extra hard to try to get out of paralysis. This can show up in many different places in your life, like doing chores in your home, writing someone back a message or email, getting a work task done.

It can feel absolutely crippling.

First, just accept what it is.

You are simply stuck and are not a failure. Negative self-talk isn’t going to help, it’s just going to make the paralysis take longer to overcome. Sometimes being able to just accept it, move on, and do something calming for your mind can help inspire you to start your task or perhaps see it from a different perspective.

Second, take a baby step to ease some of the anxiety around the task.

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is start. Even if it is simply to open that email or bring the cleaning materials out. Telling yourself all I must do is one small step, nothing else, can help ease the anxiety.

Third, praise yourself for accomplishing the baby step. It is a big deal.

Telling yourself that you barely did anything, and there is so much more to do, is only going to keep you stuck longer. An anxious mind isn’t a helpful one.

Hopefully by breaking it down into small pieces the task will seem more manageable. And if you are still feeling stuck don’t panic, it will come eventually. Start back at the first step again and see if it can build a little more each time.

Always be kind to yourself through this, as frustrating as it can be. Force is never going to be the solution for motivation. And remember this is temporary, you will get through this, and become unstuck again.