The Balancing Act of Travelling

We recently got back from a big trip to Japan, with a short visit to South Korea. It was a dream come true for me, somewhere I have wanted to visit for many years. And I had many places I wanted to see with high expectations.

Except we were also taking the kids.

I had traveled a lot when I was younger, when a backpack and low expectations were all I needed. Fast forward 20 years and two kids, traveling looks a little different. We have taken the kids on vacation before, but not traveling. They have visited family in different cities, we did the beach holiday a couple of times, but this was their first experience out of their comfort zones.

And it was tough.

It truly was a balancing act of meeting my desire to see all the sights, making sure the kids weren’t too overwhelmed, and keeping everyone feed, rested, and happy. All while navigating a new culture, new time zone, new tastes, and new language.

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When traveling with kids you need to be the most flexible you have ever been in your entire life. If they are miserable, everyone is miserable. There were more than a few times I had to force myself to ignore the whining to witness and enjoy seeing the sights I had dreamed of for years.

Here are the lessons I learned:

• Lower Expectations (like wayyyy down)

I know on paper it seems like you will be able to manage it all, but when reality hits it’s hard to stay on track. Even without the kids, almost nothing goes exactly to plan (no matter how much you research it). Allowing this space for unpredictability will help you to let go and see the magic of going with the flow. This often leads to unexpected experiences, like an amazing restaurant, a fun store, or even create a funny memory with your family. And everyone will be a lot less stressed.

• Make an itinerary but keep a lot of open space

Keep your itinerary open for those unexpected discoveries but do have an actual loose itinerary and research ahead of the trip. You need a balance of both! Or you will spend a lot of time just wandering around not knowing what to do. And spend most of your trip researching where to go.

• Schedule rest times

This is a big one with kids (and a lot of adults too). Typically, you are not moving at this kind of pace in your everyday life and it can feel exhausting after the first few days. This is a trip, but it’s also supposed to be relaxing. Schedule in some down time into the day. It’s time to rest your feet, to not have to be on all the time, and time to reflect on what you already saw that day. For us, we often had a little rest in the afternoon after a busy morning, then we would head out again in the early evening for night activities. Plus, a lot of tourist attractions are often very busy in the middle of the afternoon, so it was a good time to be away.

• Check in with sensory overwhelm

A new place, with new tastes, sounds, and sights can be really overwhelming, especially for kids. If they start to get more irritated and less excited about what you are doing it might be time for a little pause before it gets completely out of hand. If you catch it early (even in yourself) you can say let’s take a little break at this café or sit on this bench for a few minutes and just check in.

• Be prepared to leave anywhere at anytime

If the overload is too much, or there is just too much misery that food, rest, or rechange isn’t working, it might be time to head back to the home base and rest for a while. No one is going to enjoy themselves at this point.

• Always have food with you

Especially with kids, in a foreign country, take along some snacks that you know they like. So often we were stuck somewhere, so caught up in exploring, that we were all absolutely starving and there was nothing around that the kids would enjoy. Plus, once that hungry exhaustion hits it’s harder for them to keep an open mind about trying new things too. I tried to take along a few snacks that I could pull out in an emergency. Although I’ll admit I didn’t do this enough and we were often stuck trying to pick the most likely thing the kids would eat while we all were having a hunger induced meltdown.

• Tell your kids the plan for each day to set their expectations

Nothing worse than not knowing what is expected of you for the day. How much energy it will take, or how long you will be gone.  Setting out the itinerary for the day with everyone will help set expectations.

• Don’t give the kids choice of the main activity (especially if you have more than one kid)

Too many choices, especially big ones, can be exhausting. And if you have more then one kid it is inventible it will lead to disagreements, and then no one is happy. Have these bigger decisions already mapped out in your itinerary, or if anything needs to change keep the discussion between the adults. Let the kids choose smaller things, like a place to eat or should we go to this shop. Then they feel like they are still a part of the planning without it causing problems.

• Just give in (even though it takes 10x longer) to them being the elevator/hotel key operator/door unlocker

A half joke, but really this is a huge thing for kids. This one will absolutely drive you bonkers, but it’s not worth the fight. And for some reason all kids seem to need and love to have control of this.

Happy travels!