The Holiday Exhaustion

The holiday season is met with such anticipation. The joy, the fun, the excitement. The less talked about part is the pure exhaustion that comes with this season too. You keep telling everyone just how busy you are, but it’s all good things so it’s fine.

But is it fine?

We often come out the other side completely dysregulated and a high need to hibernate. And our bodies craving all the vegetables.

By the time January comes I always wish I had slowed down the activity and really savoured the magic. I love this whole season. I look forward to it every year. I say yes to all the events thinking that’s the best way to soak in every last minute of joy. However, that’s exactly how I find myself in this predicament at the end (and almost always sick).

The advice I’d like to give my future self (and for all of you):

It’s ok to not do all the things

It’s exciting when the party invites start to roll in, and more people reaching out to visit or go out for dinner. It’s so easy to want to participate in them all. Even with the severe Fear Of Missing Out, it’s a good idea to only do what you absolutely know you can handle. Otherwise, you just aren’t going to enjoy them all. And become a dysregulated mess surviving each social occasion. It’s better to pick quality over quantity here, only do the ones you are super excited about doing.

Build-in recovery time

Along with only picking your favourite events, it’s still going to be a lot more socializing then normal. It’s a good idea to build in a lot of recovery time. Whatever you like to do when everything becomes much too much. It could be TV time, reading, quiet time at home, even going for a walk.

Be your kids advocate

Along with your own recovery time, make sure you are making lots for your kids too. They need it even more and won’t know they do until they are a crying mess. There is often pressure to bring them to everything, with people telling you they will be fine, but you know your child best. Even if you deal with criticism from family, it’s your job to watch for the early signs that they may not be able to handle all the extra events. They need the recovery time and will be happier at the events you do go to because of it.

Forgive yourself if you run out of time or have to cancel

It’s ok to not be able to be at or do all the holiday things. You don’t need to go to everything, or bake all the cookies, or write everyone a card. It’s ok! Really.

You can change traditions that don’t work for you

We put high expectations on ourselves in the name of tradition. But every tradition was started at some point, which means any tradition can be put to an end too. If you aren’t enjoying it, don’t do it.

Don’t try to make everyone happy (especially family)

Stopping some traditions will have people on edge. But if it’s making you miserable why are you doing it? It’s hard to keep up with expectations of others, but ultimately you have to make choices based on your own and your family’s needs.

It’s ok to feel sad when things don’t live up to your own hype

We have so much of our own excitement and expectations to live up to around this time of year. Not all of them are going to play out as you expect in your mind. Other people may disappoint you too, as they deal with their own limitations. It’s a long season, you can’t expect to feel festive through every moment. It’s ok to feel down or unhappy. There is a lot you have to deal with that just doesn’t happen any other time of year. It’s normal to not feel joy at every moment.

More sitting by the Christmas tree with a drink and book

This is the best advice I’m giving to my future self as I enjoy the holidays. Just sit there, put the music on, take in the twinkling lights, and relax. This is where the real magic exists, in those quiet moments.